Navaira
Group: Members
Posts: 481
Joined: Jan. 2005 |
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Posted: Dec. 10 2005, 07:01 |
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I can't believe any Mike Oldfield fan could like James Bland! (Well, maybe someone who's really really, like, big on Tr3s Lunas and hates Amarok could, indeed.) I've heard his songs on the radio and they've got the amazing ability to irritate the hell out of me despite being musical wallpaper of the most indescribable kind -- I can't remember anything about these songs except the facts that 1) the lyrics were offensively stupid and 2) they were filled with all the emotions of a dead fish and made 'Hung Up' by Madonna sound like Art. And to think I'd encounter Bland's name in a thread about 1973 on a Mike Oldfield forum! Honestly, guys, next you'll admit that this Norah Jones chick really rocks your world.
What I basically have against James Bland, Dido, Norah Jones, Jamie Cullum etc. etc. is that they're so inoffensive*. I can't imagine anyone being really angry about something James Bland sings. I can't imagine Norah Jones writing an angry song about her political views. Their 'music' is exactly the type managers of major labels like: it's a product aimed at certain groups of people, designed for mass appeal, polished and polished till no edge sticks out. James Bland is a soldier (oooh, go the girls) writing a song about his girlfriend (oooh, go the girls), the song is called "You're beautiful" (ooooooh, oooooh) and they split after that (cue in mass fainting). Dido is a beautiful girl (mmm, go the boys) but not dangerously beautiful, more the girl-next-door-type (mmm, go the girls) singing about her broken heart, her affairs that go wrong, the lack of goals in her life and about how she likes to have sex with her boyfriend when he's stoned and she's drunk (that song is designed to touch the bad boys and bad girls, who would otherwise consider Dido completely uncool, and it wasn't a single so the grandmas never got to hear it). Etc.
This music isn't made because the artist has the burning need to make it. This music happens because marketing division of EMI have conducted a research results of which were then applied to a person somewhat talented vocally and completely devoured of personality (very dangerous thing, that personality malarky). The most cynical way of 'creating a pop star' being Pop Idle, of course, where everyone showing dangerous sings of having thoughts deeper than 'oooh, isn't this dress fantastic' is quickly evicted from the show.
Sigh. Sorry about the rant, but... James Bland? Burn these CDs, quick. And I don't mean burning copies for friends. That would be a cruel thing to do to them.
* unless you consider emotions and intelligence an essential thing in music, that is.
-------------- http://www.raygrant.com :: My album 'Exorcism' is out on iTunes now
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