arron11196
Group: Members
Posts: 826
Joined: April 2005 |
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Posted: Oct. 28 2005, 16:15 |
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OK, here we go.
First of all, for a 14 year old, I think you have potential. There were some good ideas behind what you created here, and may I be the first to applaud you.
The greatest element of this was the way the synth seemed to imitate the way the wind moves through sparse woods and makes the branches move - that was effective.
However, the piano 'accompanyment' felt a little - in the background. It felt disjointed, and I feel that may be because the raw sound of the piano sounds as if it's been recorded in a studio where as the rustly leaves synth is echoey, raw and vibrating. I think maybe the piano would benefit from some basic echo or reverb effects - it would be interesting to see if you could emulate the same effects on the synth onto the piano section as well.
Secondly, I felt that the piano tune itsself was... disjointed. It felt like someone playing incidentally as if they were just plonking notes. And that's fine if that's the atmosphere your trying to create, but I would stipulate that with such a raw, powerful, resonating sound as that synth, you could probably do with a little bit of 'plinky plonky' perfection - keep it accurate, in time and clearly define the melody - remove some elements if there's too much to communicate within the same passage.
And lastly, I felt the track remained a little empty, even though it sounded like it was trying to fill out the speakers. Using just two instruments could be very effective if you decided to reduce the overall volume - maybe introduce some master volume changes through the progression of the track - to give the feeling of space that you might want to simulate.
I hope I haven't sounded out of place, since you have already composed 100 songs. I hope my comments may be useful.
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Arron J Eagling
Everyone's interpretation is different, and everyone has a right to that opinion. There is no "right" one, I am adding this post to communicate my thoughts to share them with like-minded souls who will be able to comment in good nature.
(insert the last 5 mins of Crises here)
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. I compose in my time 100 songs!. I want to propose you my last song "Forest Of The Dream"
