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ThisName Group: Members Posts: 307 Joined: July 2005 Posted: April 20 2006, 09:57 Just wanted to see what people think about this hypothetical scenario. You take a copy of amarok back in time to 1973 to show mike oldfield. You play the record to him. What do you think his reaction would be to know that he would be writing this in the future? -------------- www.ryanyardmusic.com Back to top

hiawatha Group: Members Posts: 2391 Joined: Mar. 2004 Posted: April 20 2006, 09:59 After you give him the Amarok CD, he places it on his turntable and watches in dumb stupefaction as the needle slides off the disc, just like Austin Powers in the first movie. Then you bring out your rare Amarok LP, which 1973 Mike puts on the ol' tin box and plays. 1973 Mike then says: "Gee. I really come to hate Richard Branson THAT much????" "Don't tell me: every single album I ever do in the future has bloody tubular bells in it!" "The production's so impossibly crisp. Did I have Alan Parsons do it?. I always wanted to work with him. In fact, I called him the other day and told him about this great idea I had for an album about Edgar Alan Poe. He said it would never work." "I like that vocal chant thing toward the end. I think I'll use this idea in a project I've started to work on called Ommadawn. I think I'll even give Ommadawn a working title: Amarok 2". He then looks at the CD insert/art and says: "No WAY. I'm never going to cut my hair! I like the way I look now and am am never going to change it." -------------- "In the land of the Dacotahs, Where the Falls of Minnehaha Flash and gleam among the oak-trees, Laugh and leap into the valley." - Song of Hiawatha Back to top

ImAFoolAndImLaughing Group: Members Posts: 536 Joined: Feb. 2006 Posted: April 20 2006, 12:00 Then 1973 Mike would say... "It jumps about a bit, doesn't it? And who's that posh tart talking nonsense and clog dancing at the end? Is that supposed to be funny? Actually - she has just the kind of voice I'd like to make use of in this song I was thinking about, 'into wonderland'...hmmm" -------------- "I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach." Back to top

hiawatha Group: Members Posts: 2391 Joined: Mar. 2004 Posted: April 20 2006, 12:52 Quote (ImAFoolAndImLaughing @ April 20 2006, 12:00) Then 1973 Mike would say... "It jumps about a bit, doesn't it? And who's that posh tart talking nonsense and clog dancing at the end? Is that supposed to be funny? Actually - she has just the kind of voice I'd like to make use of in this song I was thinking about, 'into wonderland'...hmmm" And then, as a result, he becomes enamoured of using Thatcher's voice in everything. He even gets the real Maggie to sing "Moonlight Shadow" when he gets around to making "Crises". Thatcher retires from politics to better pursue her lucrative pop singing career. She earns the nickname "The Platinum Lady" for all the high-selling albums she was involved with. Her career is tragically cut short in a ballooning accident with her fiance Richard Branson. As has happened at least once before, the rest of the world wonders what those brits are thinking! (In the United States, Mike is not known forever as the Exorcist guy. He is instead known as the guy with that awful singer). In a world without PM Margaret Thatcher, Neil Kinnock enjoys long years of success, and is regarded as one of Britain's greatest leaders of all time. His rule is ended in the mid-1990s when the Army of Argentina invades and occupies Great Britain, replacing Kinnock with an appointee of the Argentine Empire. Along the way, "Ommadawn" is finally released. With all the wisdom of having heard "Amarok" during the earliest stages of conceiving "Ommadawn", Mike makes "Ommadawn" to feature a wolf-howl punctuated vocal chant building up to a emotional climax that consists of nothing but Mike drinking a glass of water. This wildly successful album ends up as #1 on Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums list. -------------- "In the land of the Dacotahs, Where the Falls of Minnehaha Flash and gleam among the oak-trees, Laugh and leap into the valley." - Song of Hiawatha Back to top

ThisName Group: Members Posts: 307 Joined: July 2005 Posted: April 20 2006, 15:12 Fantastic replies all, I really had a good chuckle reading that. You came up with some very funny scenarios there. Funny what could happen as a consequence of something else, a whole chain of events occur. I'm glad i posted this topic now, i thought it would be nice to have something a little bit different! -------------- www.ryanyardmusic.com Back to top

Alan D Group: Members Posts: 3670 Joined: Aug. 2004 Posted: April 20 2006, 16:04 Alternative scenario: He is mightily impressed first, with the name, and second, with what he hears (particularly enjoying the creative use of a glass of water). He withdraws all copies of Tubular Bells from the record shops and reissues a slightly modified version of the album under its new title of Amarok, after adding a glass of water to the countdown at the end of part 1. An orchestral version is issued soon after called The Orchestrok. In due course he makes Amarok 2 and Amarok 3 (all containing the trademark glass of water sound somewhere), and then The Millenium Rok (about which fans debate whether this really is an Amarok album at all). Finally, dissatisfied with the original recording, but wishing to make a final anarchic musical statement, he makes a note-for-note re-recording of Amarok called Amarok 2003, which incorporates a special system that prevents the album from being played, but permits it to be copied. Back to top

hiawatha Group: Members Posts: 2391 Joined: Mar. 2004 Posted: April 20 2006, 16:37 Quote (Alan D @ April 20 2006, 16:04) ....he makes a note-for-note re-recording of Amarok called Amarok 2003, which incorporates a special system that prevents the album from being played, but permits it to be copied. When this comes out, the record company undertakes a  media blitz, making sure knowledge of it reaches a large audience. Mike is booked for interviews at 3:30 AM on North Korean television, and special targetted adverts are taken out in such magazines as "Archie Comics Betty and Veronica Annual", "Commodore 64 Enthusiast", "Mayfair Magazine Fergie Spectacular" and "Celery Farmer's Monthly". Every single radio station in Iran is sent a promotional copy of the CD. Copies of the CD are even placed in a file cabinet in the basement behind a locked door with a sign that says "Beware of Leopard". "Amarok 2003" is accompanied by a special DVD encoded for Region 18 (which contains eastern, but not western Moldova), along with bonus music tracks only made available for purchasers who live on the Ross Ice Shelf and also certain jurisdictions of Southern North Dakota. A brisk exchange of pirate copies among both Mike Oldfield fans ensues as there is no other way to really get the material. Despite all the great efforts at making the CD a success, the record company is severely dissapointed in Mike Oldfield and his poor sales. As a result, they pull Mike's contract. -------------- "In the land of the Dacotahs, Where the Falls of Minnehaha Flash and gleam among the oak-trees, Laugh and leap into the valley." - Song of Hiawatha Back to top

ThisName Group: Members Posts: 307 Joined: July 2005 Posted: April 20 2006, 17:00 Aaln D that post was so funny. In fact this is proving to be one of the funniest posts i have ever read in the forum. Beautiful comedy at its very best!!! -------------- www.ryanyardmusic.com Back to top

ThisName Group: Members Posts: 307 Joined: July 2005 Posted: April 20 2006, 17:01 Sorry Alan D (been on the wine and beer tonight whilst listening to amarok on full volume. A truely wonderful musical experience! -------------- www.ryanyardmusic.com Back to top

Ray Group: Members Posts: 857 Joined: Jan. 2000 Posted: April 20 2006, 17:26 I think he would have laughed and said....... So you hear that did you - have you tried playing it backwards - its sounds like Sibelius backewards to me.  Who's the girl with the silly voice?  I think that must be a piss take on my piltdown man - it's not that Greer woman taking the micky is it? Sound funny and rather electricky - bit like it's recorded on a tape with no hiss? -------------- Looking out over the harbour in Peel....... Back to top

ImAFoolAndImLaughing Group: Members Posts: 536 Joined: Feb. 2006 Posted: April 21 2006, 11:55 Quote He is mightily impressed first, with the name, and second, with what he hears (particularly enjoying the creative use of a glass of water). He withdraws all copies of Tubular Bells from the record shops and reissues a slightly modified version of the album under its new title of Amarok, after adding a glass of water to the countdown at the end of part 1. An orchestral version is issued soon after called The Orchestrok. Not only that, but he rewrites the second half so that a strange caveman-sounding voice shouts "HappyHappyHappy!" halfway through side two... He then remixes Amarokian Bells a couple of years later for the "Rokxed" Compilation, but in such a way that the thundering bassline, the (now infamous) Glass of Water section, and the sudden guitar stabs have all been subdued - this is adopted for all the following issues of Amarokian Bells, prompting an outcry from fans who preferred the original, and a ton of fan-made bootleg CDs of "Amarokian Bells - Original Mix" -------------- "I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach." Back to top

hiawatha Group: Members Posts: 2391 Joined: Mar. 2004 Posted: April 21 2006, 14:38 Somehow, I managed to get a hold of a bootleg CD of "Amarok 2003". You can see the artwork here: http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/6083/mag5nx.jpg I'd tell you how I obtained it, but most likely it would result in the RIAA taking action here (destroying tubular.net and placing the wormhole under strict Cardassian administration). They have a zero-tolerance policy toward extradimensional music piracy. The last thing you want is to be sued by Yog-Sothoth for failing to pay the dimensional passage toll fees. -------------- "In the land of the Dacotahs, Where the Falls of Minnehaha Flash and gleam among the oak-trees, Laugh and leap into the valley." - Song of Hiawatha Back to top

Alan D Group: Members Posts: 3670 Joined: Aug. 2004 Posted: April 21 2006, 16:33 Quote (hiawatha @ April 21 2006, 19:38) Somehow, I managed to get a hold of a bootleg CD of "Amarok 2003". It is amazing that Hiawatha managed to find this, because Amarok 2003 was the least bootlegged album in history. Since the album's only purpose was to be copied, there was no fun in it any more, so the pirates didn't bother. For those who wish to distinguish between the official release and the ultra-rare bootleg shown to us by Hiawatha, careful inspection of the image below will show the distinguishing feature. But be warned; it takes a highly trained eye to spot the difference. Official amarok 2003 sleeve Back to top

Alan D Group: Members Posts: 3670 Joined: Aug. 2004 Posted: April 21 2006, 16:40 Quote (hiawatha @ April 20 2006, 21:37) "Celery Farmer's Monthly" Hiawatha - does one have to be a registered celery farmer to subscribe to this distinguished journal, or may mere amateur dabblers apply? It has caught my interest. Back to top

Wayfarer Group: Members Posts: 308 Joined: June 2002 Posted: April 23 2006, 18:03 Hehehe :lol: Nice scenarios, guys... I wonder... Anybody here has a DeLorean? Quote (Alan D @ April 20 2006, 22:04) Finally, dissatisfied with the original recording, but wishing to make a final anarchic musical statement, he makes a note-for-note re-recording of Amarok called Amarok 2003, which incorporates a special system that prevents the album from being played, but permits it to be copied. Btw, I've just bought in a department store (Media Markt) an european reissue of TB2003... without the Copy Protection system. Yeap, plain and good Audio CD!!! Just for 6,90 Euros So if anybody here was reluctant to buy the TB2003 due to the Crappy Protection system, just go to your local store and check they have the reissue. -- Wayfarer -------------- My homepage - www.thewayfarer.info My search - www.cannotbefound.com My community - www.taurusiv.net My luthier - www.artluthier.com Back to top

olracUK Group: Members Posts: 1683 Joined: June 2003 Posted: April 23 2006, 19:59 so, 1973. Trying to find the last of the Morrocan Red hidden in his Bell bottoms, Mike peers at the waif-like creature before him (hey - time travel helps me lose a few pounds/kilo's OK?). "Hmm," says he, "that bass line sounds familiar. So, you're telling me I can stop using sticky tape and razor blades and use computers instead? Now all I have to do is make a multi million selling album and start saving for those toys" -------------- The answer is 42 - but what is the question? Back to top

ImAFoolAndImLaughing Group: Members Posts: 536 Joined: Feb. 2006 Posted: April 24 2006, 07:31 Well - strange news - whilst browsing in me local record shop, with Hiawatha's post and the accompanying picture bouncing round my brain, I stumbled across a sopy of Amarok II. I can't describe the contents, as they're simply too bizarre for words - apparently, according to the sleeve notes, Mike managed to track down and train a tribe of the elusive Pygmy Bonsai Dolphin to swim through his glass of water and sing in time with the music. Amazing stuff! Anyway - I include a scan of the cover for your delight and delectation! Tony Amarok II -------------- "I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach." Back to top

Piltdownboy on horseback 22 Group: Members Posts: 1548 Joined: Sep. 2005 Posted: April 24 2006, 16:37 Hehehe... nice cover for Amarok 2!! Nearly as good as the Mbell cover hehehe I think Mike would react like this to Amarok in 1973: "bloody hell, who did that? This guy is marvellous" -------------- "And now we're going to play Platinum!" Back to top

ImAFoolAndImLaughing Group: Members Posts: 536 Joined: Feb. 2006 Posted: April 24 2006, 16:43 I think he'd be more likely to say "I can't imagine anyone liking that except cloth-eared nincompoops... I mean - where're the Mandolins and pipes?! Next you'll be telling me I'll be making music with Calculators!" -------------- "I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach." Back to top

Piltdownboy on horseback 22 Group: Members Posts: 1548 Joined: Sep. 2005 Posted: April 24 2006, 16:44 Hehehehehhehehee yeah Or he'd say: "Man, this sound like it's made on an old tin boxe" -------------- "And now we're going to play Platinum!" Back to top

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