Ugo
Group: Members
Posts: 5495
Joined: April 2000 |
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Posted: Oct. 23 2010, 19:48 |
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Quite a long time ago I posted the first three jokes below on one of these forums, in a very old thread. That thread got closed and deleted by someone (I guess Inkanta?) because it was not MO-related. I hope it doesn't happen again. The first three are linguistic jokes, so they're a bit hard to understand for non-native speakers, but I did get them when I read them. 
Here I go...
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One says to the other: “Me and muh wife are goin’ to the West Indies on holiday”.
“Jamaica?”
“No, she wants ta go.”
The Queen is talking to a Scottish soldier.
“So, you’re out here for a while, are you?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“And you live in the barracks, do you?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“You comfy there?”
“No, ma’am! I come fae Glasgae!”
Mary was walking her wheelie rubbish bin up her driveway when she looked across the street and saw her Aboriginal neighbour walking up his driveway carrying two plastic bags.
She called out, “Where’s your bin?”
He replied, “Iz been on holiday.”
She said, “No, your wheelie bin, where’s your wheelie bin?"
He said, “Well, Iz really been in jail, but Iz been telling everybody Iz been on holidays!”
A travelling salesman enters a hotel and is about to check in when he sees a very beautiful woman who stares at him with admiration. He goes to her, they talk for a couple of minutes, then they both go to the reception desk and check in as husband and wife.
After a pleasant three-day stay, the man says to the clerk he's checking out. After a moment, a $ 2500 bill is given him.
“There must be a mistake”, the man says. “I've been here only for three days.”
“I know, sir”, the clerk says. “But your wife's been here for a month and a half."
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Ugo C. - a devoted Amarokian
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