The Big BellEnd
Group: Members
Posts: 971
Joined: Jan. 2004 |
 |
Posted: Dec. 15 2007, 18:11 |
 |
MOONLIGHT SHADOW (YULETIDE VERSION)
The thing I liked best about Christmas,
Was the fun I used to have with Christmas crackers.
They come with a present, joke and a warning,
About the risks of choking on the contents in Christmas Crackers.
A riddle and a ring puzzle are a perfect delight,
Far away better than a set of miniature Chinese dice.
Then I was caught in the middle of desperate cracker fight,
When my wife tried to push and pull too (both hands).
The tree that stands proud in the corner of the living room,
Is stacked from the base to the fairy with lusty crackers,
I hope it will bring joy not sorrow and grieving,
Over the quality of the novelties in its yuletide wrappers.
The sticky fingered kids aren't going to spoil any of my fun,
As they stare through the front window from the other side.
I was shocked six times as the cheapness of the gifts left me feeling cheated and numb,
And found no joy in the woefully timid snap-back too.
CHORUS
Well I stayed and I prayed,
To get crackers sent from Harrods far away,
And I'll say and I'll pray,
For a cracker joke that will make me laugh one day.
Four a.m. Boxing day morning and I'm searching the house for hidden Christmas crackers,
Then I saw the vision forming,
Of a gold and green dream of sumptious crackers.
They thought they were safe, hidden under the stairs at night,
Tucked away in a cupboard without a working light.
But I made a big mistake with the outer packaging,
When I tried to flush it down the loo.
CHORUS
I must say, it's not okay,
My wife ended my shennanigans later on that day.
And I say, now I must pay,
Since my kids have taken my crackers away.
The next time that you may see me,
I'll have a big bulge in the front of my trousers.
But there's no need to worry, it's a warning,
It's a hiding place for my mini crackers.
At the most I can carry up to twenty-five,
So I have to lean over slightly to one side.
But I had extra buttons fitted to my flies,
Now they're much more easier to pull through.
CHORUS (all together now)
--------------
I, ON THE OTHER HAND. AM A VICTIM OF YOUR CARNIVOUROUS LUNAR ACTIVITY.
|
... from the way you originally wrote it, I imagined that the word was lenghtened that way 
